Improve your relationship with yourself in 4 simple steps

I suppose Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to post this. Not because I know some of you out there may be feeling down about things but because if we’re going to celebrate a day of love, then we may as well think about our most important relationship – the one with ourself.

Self love isn’t just about standing in front of the mirror repeating a positive mantra to yourself. It’s not even just about “loving” yourself more. It’s actually a complete change in the way you live.

Self love is about what you think, what you say and what you do.

And sometimes self love is going to mean exercise, green juice and healthy foods, other days it’s going to be spending time with loved ones and there will be days where it’s going to be about lounging around in your pj’s and watching an entire boxset on Netflix.

So here are 4 steps to improve your relationship with yourself – because that relationship is FOREVER.

Do a lifestyle audit.

Take an honest look at what’s working in your life and what isn’t. Break up with any bad and unhealthy habits that may not be serving you at this exact time in life. If something isn’t working; this is the time to change it.

Schedule in self care!

Like I said above, your version of self care is not going to be the same as anyone else’s, at least not at any one time. But whatever your version of self care looks like then it’s important that you schedule it in on the calendar and make sure you stick to it. You wouldn’t schedule in a doctors appointment and then not turn up, so make that same commitment to your self care routine.

Think about what you’re feeding yourself.

I don’t just mean your diet here, but what you’re taking in full stop. Think about the amount of news you’re watching, the reality shows, the blogs you’re reading, the social media company you keep…

Listen, I’ll be the first person to admit that I love my Real Housewives of Orange County/ New York / Beverly Hills / Melbourne / Potomac (< seriously) but there are times when they just don’t serve me. They can leave me feeling seriously depressed about my surroundings. When you think of it, all the drama and the negativity in these shows can’t do our soul much good.

And then you consider your online life, is your feed full of complaints and negativity or does it lift you up and make you feel good?

Start crowding out some of the junk and noise. You’ll not miss it, in fact, you’ll feel lighter and brighter – I guarantee you.

Stop making excuses…

This point needs its own post. But it’s time to stop making excuses for things you no longer want to do and to stop making excuses and apologising for indulging in your own hobbies and passions.

By making excuses, you’re just damaging yourself.

Make a list of excuses you’re currently using (not going to the gym because? Not going to see friends because?) and then take some serious time to think about WHY you’re making those excuses. Avoiding the gym because you just don’t like it – then quit and do something more meaningful. Not going out with friends because you’d rather chill out on the sofa? Just say so and own it.

Doing something you LOVE and something you want to do – even if it doesn’t fit in with someone else standards is SO much easier than having to continually make up excuses in your own head all the time.

And to finish up here’s a Girl Power Manifesto from Jennifer Pastiloff  pin it to your vision board, print it off and stick it to the side of your computer – whatever you prefer, just read it and drink it in.



girl power manifesto

Author: Rachael

I'm a journalist and creative consultant. I write about how busy women (just like you) can live, work and eat - better.

19 thoughts on “Improve your relationship with yourself in 4 simple steps”

  1. I agree that we need to improve our relationship with ourselves above all, Self care is always important because at the end we are the ones ultimately responsible for taking care of ourselves, not anyone else x

  2. “Stop making excuses” is my favorite reminder! It will really keep you from moving forward if you don’t stop!

  3. I love posts about self-love and think it only improve areas of your life. I like finding positivity books to write lists of things to be positive about or finding things I like. I also believe it is important to not only relax – i have a pamper day every sunday, but also maintain hobbies at least once a week x

  4. I am struggling a bit with my mental health at the moment and so self care is very important! We all need to practice it, even if it is to make 10 minutes for yourself to catch your breath. These tips are really helpful and I know I will find them beneficial x

  5. Self care is so important, my husband jokes that I’m self caring an old lady as I love to crochet, as it’s my quiet time where I can just focus on my thoughts and watch my hands tickle through. As a mum to a very busy(!) toddler quiet time is a huge blessing.

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