Tag: social media

How To: Deal With Online Trolls

“Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht & having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the Internet, & we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer & then talk back to that voice & say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go.” (Kathleen Hanna)

Tim Ferris posted this Steve Jobs quote on facebook recently and it got me thinking about online trolls…especially in light of the Stan Collymore fiasco.

“By the way, what have you done that’s so great? Do you create anything, or just criticize other’s work and belittle their motivations?”- Steve Jobs

image via pinterest

If you’ve ever been on the end of abusive internet comments – then you know it’s not nice. I’ve been called “pointless” for writing a simple piece on first dates, right through to being called a “fucking bitch” on twitter because I shared my opinion on a news story (and let’s not forget the famous “baphead” for daring to go on the radio). It seems trolls don’t just go after celebrities, they’ll go after anyone so long as they get their cheap kicks.

So what is a troll? If you’re thinking those weird little toys {pictured above} you used to play with back in the 80/90s then think again. These are bigger, nastier and uglier.”A troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. The noun troll may refer to the provocative message itself, as in: “That was an excellent troll you posted.” – Wikipedia

Put basically, they’re a collective of people who think that a cheap laptop and a broadband connection gives them the right to be abusive to others. They forget {or more to the point – don’t care} that the person reading the bile they’ve spewed is a human being.  They’re nothing short of playground bullies who have no boundaries because they’re hiding behind their computer screens and often see no consequences.But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. Here are a few things you can do…

Ignore them. The most simple of advice and often a lot easier said than done. It’s taken me ages to just ignore these people and not react. I’ve come to the conclusion that if they don’t like what I’ve posted then more fool them for wasting five minutes of their life leaving a comment. Like any bully they thrive on attention. Don’t give it to them and they can’t do a thing.The Internet is written in ink…

It’s so hard not to retaliate and throw some pretty severe four letter words back out there at these monsters but STOP and think before you press that send button. To steal a line from the film The Social Network – the internet is written in ink. EVERYTHING is searchable, once you’ve clicked send, things remain out there and you’ve very little control over it once it’s out. Don’t ruin your future chances by responding in a negative and unprofessional way. You may not think it matters now but you don’t want people to google your name and see a string of inappropriate messages {and by then out of context} pop up.

On Twitter? Use your block button. If someone has upset you on twitter then just click the block button. It’s what it’s there for. Certainly don’t RT the comment, by retweeting you’re just giving the troll the satisfaction of seeing it bothered you.

On your blog? Would you let someone come in to your home and abuse you? No? Well, if someone posts something vile on your blog {YOUR virtual home} then just delete the comment. If you use wordpress then you can block these critters from ever commenting again. Don’t let it put you off blogging either – like I said earlier, if they don’t like your blog then they can quit reading it.

Don’t assume everyone is a troll…It’s a weird term really – troll. What I may consider a troll someone else may just think is an old fashioned arsehole. If you’ve been on twitter and facebook for any length of time you can usually see the difference between asshat and a troll so judge with caution.

Don’t let it get you down. Again, easier said than done. I remember when I had my first email of hate, I’d just had an article published and the reader clearly didn’t agree with my opinions – which is totally cool but they chose to verbally express themselves in a way which was less than kind. They’d gone to a whole heap of effort to trace my email address and craft a mammoth hate session so that it arrived in my inbox to read the very next morning. Did it bother me? HELL YES. I was so upset by it that I thought I’d made a huge mistake and should just skulk back off to my PR job.  You get used to a certain level of rejection when you’re freelancing but when someone deliberately sets out be vile it’s pretty upsetting. But the more time you waste on them and let them bring you down the less time you have to achieve things and get stuff done

.If it gets too much or you feel threatened then there are things you can do…

Check out Darlingtons blog post on trolls. He mentions the actions that can be taken if you’re feeling harrassed or threatened such as criminal and civil proceedings.

AND FINALLY…I have to share this piece that I read on Gala Darling’s blog. Whilst not specifically about trolling it does make you think that what people say about you really shouldn’t stop you from going out there and doing what you want.

*originally posted August 2012  

Has social media brought out your inner monster?

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I love social media. Most of you reading this right now, will probably have found this post via my Twitter or Facebook feed. But every now and again, I resent my involvement in the social media world. It’s totally skewed the way I view people.

People (who at times can come across as wonderful, insightful people) say things and make comments that shake me to my core and it makes me wonder about how well you ever really know anyone.

It’s strange that I post this today because I had initially planned on writing it this morning after reading about @emmaway20, the girl who knocked a cyclist off his bike and then took to twitter to brag about it. But after the events in London earlier today and seeing the inevitable social media reaction, it’s just reinforced my thoughts.

We’ve ALL said things on Twitter/Facebook which, in hindsight haven’t been the wisest. I know I have. But how many tweets are sent every day by people who wouldn’t ever say those things in real life? Is this someone’s true colours shining through or is it simply showing off and then hiding behind a screen?

For me, I’m drawn to accounts where the user displays authenticity. I like outrageous but not cruel. I like interesting but not speculative or rumour spreading. I tend to follow people back a lot because I am super interested in people. But I also find my finger clicking the unfollow button a lot more than usual – mostly because I see tweets from people who you just *know* wouldn’t say such things outside the realms of virtual reality. I can get on board with honesty but only if it’s authentic and would be said where it matters most – outside of cyberspace.

There is just something about social media that brings out the inner monster amongst its users. It shouldn’t be a difficult concept really, what we do on the outside should be the same way we behave on the internet. But somewhere along the lines, those boundaries get blurred.
There also seems to be a culture of saying things to get kudos, to become a kind of twitter/facebook celebrity. Unfortunately, those tweets don’t reflect well on the person sending.

Does that make sense?

I can’t have those people in my space anymore. When I use social media I’m at home or in the office, I therefore have to be mindful about who I invite in to my personal space.

I like to think that I have a simple social media process to help me stay real online…

– I don’t say anything on my public stream that I wouldn’t say out loud and in public.

– I don’t @ someone in something if it’s negative and going to have a negative impact on their day. No one needs to have shit streamed right in to their space.

– I think before sending that tweet/facebook status.

– I try to be helpful and supportive, we’re all just trying to make our way in this world.

– I always REMEMBER that there is a human being on the other end of the screen.

– Social media isn’t just about being noticed – it’s about interacting or learning.

– I know that I don’t have to be an open book, just be myself.

– Simply…the key to not being a monster on social media is to be a decent human being. {click to tweet}

Authenticity. Not the opposite of fake, but rather the counterpart to truthful and honest. Legitimate. The real me, excavated and discovered, aired out with all her good and bad, dreams and nightmares, fears and joys. – Susannah Conway

Tell me, are you yourself online? Do you have a system to stay authentic?

 

Sunday Service: Coffee and Plants

The sun has been shining all day and it’s been perfect to grab a coffee and sit outside whilst pouring over the Sunday papers. It’s also time that I start getting my weekly Sunday post back up a running. 
 

Things I’ve loved this week: Kopi Coffee

I want to do a more in depth post about coffee later this week but for now let me just say that Java Jampit is amazing!! I’m not much of a coffee drinker really (I’m more of an Earl Grey chick) but Kopi graciously sent me a pack of their Java Jampit Estate UTZ Certified Arabica and now I’m in love. It had hints of orange and chocolate and the smell is gorgeous! If you’re not aware of Kopi yet then check out their website.They are a new monthly coffee subscription service.For just £8.95 per month (it’s cheaper if you sign up for a 3/6/12 month subscription) you get a different bag of coffee from around the world delivered straight to your door each month. 

This tweet just about sums it up…

 

What I’ve been reading:
 
I’ve had a bit of green finger mania this week. I’ve been desperate to get in the garden and start planting herbs and veggies. So I love these two links: Nature office organiser from Design Sponge and Emma Cossey posted this indoor allotment 
Spring cleaning is also on my radar…This post details 9 simple hacks to help you get your apartment back. 
3 day lash tint mascara by Max Factor – a review on BritishBeautyBlogger.com

 
 
You know I love Sarah Wilson by now but if you’re a meat eater then her latest post on 5 ways to eat a chook is fabulous.
 
Bloggers! If you have a turnover of less than £2m and fewer than 10 employees then you’re going to be exempt from the new press regulations. Good news for 99% of bloggers I think. Although, just because you’re exempt it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use your common sense before posting!
 
Smug Girl, Ditzy Girl, Muffin Girl. Meet Advertising’s Horribly Clichéd Dieting Women Cheese brand’s biting parody
 

Here’s a piece I wrote for The Spin Alley on Dove’s new campaign

Also, I’m gibing HyperLocal blogging a whirl…here’s a post on Graffiti: Art or Vandalism

My friend Debsy has been named as one of the top 50 social media power influencers in 2013 by Forbes. Go Debs!
 
And finally, 

 

Have a great week!!

ps: Image isn’t of Kopi but from my trip to Sardinia

Sunday Stumble…Travel Edition

I’ve been having a bit of a travel mad week this week. I finally booked my flights for my summer holiday which means it’s official that I’m actually going! I’m heading out to Madrid and then on to Palma before a relaxing week with friends in Alcudia. I won’t be spending too much time in Madrid or Palma – just whistle stops but I’m looking forward to packing in as much as humanly possible in those 48 hours!

< A picture from my visit to Aruba. How I long to go back.

Anyway, on with the stumble…

The New York Times is finally getting to grips with social media and using Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest and Tumblr. Check out this article from Journalism.co.uk on the Five ways the New York Times is ‘getting personal’ on social media.

Did I tell you that I’ve changed my facebook page? no? Well, I have and now you can like me at facebook.com/rachphillipsdotcom < go on – do it.

As you know I’m passionate about living a better life and playing with passion. I’m also a total glossy magazine addict. Sometimes the two go hand in hand and other times my more sensible side takes over and realises that by buying these magazines I’m actually just feeding myself information about what capitalists say is my “ideal life”. This article by Gail Dines is interesting – Comsopolitan and the false promise of an “awesome life”.

Whilst we’re talking about living a better life. The Washington post published this article online offering 12 ways to live a better life. 

Fancy reading about 10 ways you can live your life beyond Mediocrity? Then check out the blog post of Miki Strong.  Inspired after reading Denise Duffield Thomas book “Lucky Bitch” Miki wrote the post about deciding to constantly upgrade your life.

One for the wordsmiths amongst us…20 common grammar mistakes that (almost) everyone gets wrong

Now I’ve told you that my holidays are fast approaching so it’s time for me to start thinking about cutting out the carbs and hitting the gym – hard. I’m not a huge fan of eggs, I mean I like them when they’re in cake – who doesn’t – but on their own I have a little bit of a mental block. The only part I like is the yolk which saddens me to read this – eating egg yolk is as bad as smoking. Not cool LA Times, not cool!