life Archives | Rachael Phillips

You are not for everyone – and that’s ok

I posted this a while ago, but thought it was time to update it slightly as it’s one of my most popular posts.

I stumbled up an image on Facebook (at the end of this post) which is an excerpt of Rebecca Campell’s book Light Is the New Black: A Guide to Answering Your Soul’s Callings and Working Your Light

Here it is:

You are not for everyone

The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is also filled with those who will love you fiercley. They are your people. You are not for everything and that’s OK. Talk to the people who can hear you.

Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever want what you’re selling. Don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on and continue along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen it by rolling yours in the wrong direct.

Keep facing your true north.

—
I cannot tell you how much, every time I read these words they resonate with me.

These really are some wise words – in all aspects of our life. From work to friendship to relationships. Life is just way too short to spend time and valuable energy trying to convince someone that you are for them.

It’s hard if you’re a people pleaser to get used to those five simple words. It may be deep down in your psyche to think about what others think about you and how their opinions should come before your own. But really, it doesn’t have to be that way.

The more you become yourself, the more you will find that your people will flock to you. It may not happen overnight, but that’s no reason to give up. Being disliked by someone is no real reflection on you, it’s just that you’re not their person.

YOU ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE. Those words should be in your daily mantra and if you’re currently in one sided friendships where you’re only picked up when you can do something for them or you’re chasing a client that means that you constantly have to sell yourself – pack that shit up and move on.
You are not for everyone. And that’s OKAY!

just a thought: are we finally getting bored of choice?

I hate too much choice. Especially when it comes to restaurants. On Saturday it took me at least half an hour and 5 waitress visits before I chose what I wanted to order (which was of course an impulse decision and actually not very nice).

I know i’m not the only one. I know others hate a vast amount of choice as much as I do. I recently did the myers briggs personality test and come out as an enfp of which one of the traits is…

“They also enjoy its sense of adventure, expectancy, and wonderment toward life’s mysteries. But Ne also has its challenges, such as making it difficult for ENFPs to draw firm conclusions or feel confident about their decisions.”

Big decisions I can make but whether I want lasagne or pizza – that’s the kind of decision I get stuck on.

Which is why I find it interesting that there seems to be an fad of restaurants only selling one thing popping up. First there was the cereal cafe, then the crisp sandwich cafe (< love this idea) and now a joint that only sells porridge. OK so there’s still an element of choice involved (i.e the topping or the flavour) but essentially, you’re going in and you’re faced with one choice.

There’s an interesting article from the New York Times which suggests we’re a generation suffering from decision fatigue. Choice is of course good but too much choice is making more of us indecisive and making us bloody miserable and I agree! Being faced with too much choice just puts me in a spin and especially when it’s something that doesn’t really matter.

What do you think? Are we shunning choice and paring down our decisions or are we more overwhelmed than ever?

Decide on your rules and then stick to them…

Today my good friend Deborah Lee wrote an excellent post all about working for free. I’ve wrote about the same thing on this blog and I’ve publicly condemned those who think it’s ok to expect creatives to work for nothing.

But today something struck me. Since the end of last year, I changed the way I started working. I discovered what I was worth, decided on how much my services cost and I stuck to it. Anyone who didn’t want to pay or suggested that my quotes were too expensive, clearly didn’t want to work with me. So I wished them well and just moved on. I didn’t change my pricing or scuttle around trying to appease someone who’d already told me that they didn’t think my work was amount that I was asking.

And you know what? It’s worked. I finally set my rules for working and it has totally changed the way I work. I’m happier, I work with people who I like working with and its a nice feeling knowing my clients respect me enough to know that I’m worth the rates I charge.

Which makes me think about what other rules we need to set in life.

For example time. Time is another commodity that we take way too lightly. People will think nothing of suggesting a quick coffee Continue reading “Decide on your rules and then stick to them…”